Fun and frolicks on the South Downs

I chose Brighton for my first camping trip of the year for several reasons, not least, meeting up with former colleague Robbie. Two weeks ago Britain was in the grip of a new ice age so I was relieved when temperatures started to rise. The chosen campsite, Sheepcote Valley, is to the east of Brighton, handy for Brighton Marina. It was full so it was lucky I booked.

The first part of my trip was to bag Cliffe Hill, a Marilyn, which is rather tricky as the summit lies on the 12th green of a local golf course. My plan was leave very early, avoiding the toll at the Dartford Tunnel, get to Lewes around dawn and using the element of surprise, get onto the golf course before any of the golfers. It was a good plan and it got off to a good start, as I arrived in Lewes around 7am. The hills were helpfully shrouded in cloud which would provide some useful cover when trespassing on the golf course. Then things gradually fell apart; I was too early for the car park; I was in the wrong part of town; I got lost getting to right part of town. The church clock was chiming eight when I finally headed up Chapel Hill on the very steep climb up the downs.

The downs were still helpfully shrouded in mist as I made my way across the golf course on a footpath. I left the footpath and headed to the top but lost my nerve and exited the golf course to see if I could find another way. I wasted another half an hour before deciding the only way was to brazen it out. By now golfers, singularly undeterred by limited visibility, were everywhere and the cloud cover starting to lift. I lurked behind a bush until the green had cleared of players, before leaping out to take my photo and get the hell out of there. I'm suprised no one had called security to get me evicted as I kept bumping into the same group of golfers, whilest assuring everyone I wasn't lost.

On my return to Lewes I had a wander round, bought something to read from a charity shop and had a cuppa. Other things I might have done; visit the castle, visit Anne of Cleeves House, take a walk by the river or shop for antiques. Lewes is pleasant country town and a good base for touring the South Downs, the newest of our National Parks.

The weather was mild but rather gloomy so I settled into my van with a good book, The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory, but alas no food as I'd left the soup behind. Saturday morning was also rather drizzly so I stayed put reading until I noticed that the van was rather warm, a sure sign that the sun had come out. I emerged blinking into the sunlight and headed off to the Marina, which was a bit like Brent Cross with boats. I thought about going to the cinema but opted for a bracing walk eastwards along the coast to Rottingdean, with bus ride back to avoid walking into the sun.

The sun was shining brightly on Sunday when I returned to Lewes to meet up with Robbie. We walked up Chapel Hill to the golf club and then onto the open downs above Lewes, eventually climbing up Mount Caburn, a much nicer hill than Cliffe. There are views along the South Downs to Ditchling Beacon to the west and Firle Beacon to east, both Marilyns I'd climbed with Noddy the dog. Robbie and I continued down the hill to Glynde for a pub lunch and caught the train back to Lewes. We'd probably still be chatting now if Robbie's wife had not rung to offer him a lift home.

Pointless topping - Slough

If ever there was an example of pointless topping, it was my trip to Slough. The high(est) point of Slough is a spot height in the middle of a busy road along the northern border, with no obvious hill or slope. General consensus of opinion among fellow toppers is that the dog poo bin is the symbolic top, (something Slough shares with Southend) as trying to find the actual top would probably get you killed. Almost all of the walk to and from the top took place in Buckinghamshire along some narrow but rather busy lanes and some litter strewn bridleways and footpaths. I left Archie at Burnham Beeches which is a very pleasant open space a couple of miles north of Slough. The last time I visited you could drive through it but it now appears to be a car-free zone.

Traditionally Slough was part of Buckinghamshire until 1974 when it was dumped on poor old Berkshire. In 1998 it became a unitary authority when poor old Berkshire was dismantled, which is how it qualifies for a top. Slough is so devoid of any tourist attractions that it was impossible to find any on its own Council website. Its greatest claim to fame seems to be the association with Ricky Gervais and the Office. I find it hard to believe that it only 42nd on the list of least favorite towns in the Idler Book of Crap Towns. Extensive research for this blog reveals that Slough means swamp. Says it all!

Alternative East Sussex - Brighton & Hove

Full of eastern promise

Brighton and Hove seceded from East Sussex in 1997 to form a unitary authority and was granted city status in 2000. Brighton is one of the largest towns in the south east and spreads out all over the South Downs from its historic heart around the Royal Pavillion. The Pavillion was built by the Prince Regent in the early nineteenth century so he could enjoy the charms of his mistress/wife Mrs Fitzherbert. The Royal Pavillion is an amazing building inspired by Indian and Chinese architecture. The Music Room is my favorite which I was fortunate enough to see before it was destroyed by fire in 1975, the ceiling was amazing. During the first world war, it was used as a hospital for Indian troops. The Chattri memorial to the troops is high on the Downs to the north of Brighton.

Brighton is very popular with visitors as it has a lot of offer besides some amazing architecture. The West Pier, opened in 1866, is the oldest and is one of the stars of the film, Oh What A Lovely War. The Palace Pier is the one still operating and also frequently features in films and TV. An electric railway runs along the beach. The streets of the original village now form the Lanes full of little boutique shops. Brighton racecourse is on top of the Downs with great views over the town and the sea. The course is u-shaped and cuts across a main road which has to be shut on race days.


I visited Brighton last month when the weather was fantastic, loads of sun and gentle breezes. I camped on the Caravan club site at Sheepcote Valley, which was set in a fold in the Downs and at night you could hear the sheep on the hills above. Brighton has twin peaks, East Hill and Bullock Hill. Sadly neither is a brilliant top, one is halfway up a hill, the other is inaccessible. Hollingbury Castle or the Racecourse would have much much better tops.

East Hill 640ft

East Hill is the southern slope of West Hill to the north of Brighton. The actual summit is in West Sussex. I started this walk from a car park on Devil's Dyke, a beauty spot just off the A23. It was fairly undulating as I racked up over 500ft of ascent in less than 3 miles. I followed the South Downs Way up to the top of West Hill, where I was overtaken by cyclists going a hill that left me breathless. The boundary line crosses the footpath on the descent but with no markers, this was one for the GPS. Not much of a top but a pleasant walk.

Bullock Hill 640ft

Bullock Hill is on the eastern side of Brighton not far from the Racecourse. I wasn't able to park at the nearest car park (height barriers very popular in Brighton) but was able to park quite close by. Bullock Hill is a gentle mound but in true top form boasts an aerial mast. It was completed surrounded by a very secure fence protecting a new crop. The nearest I got to the trig point was about 200 metres from a nearby footpath. It's a bit of shame as there was probably a good view of the coast from up there. I could see chalky cliffs that might have been the Seven Sisters. Another very pleasant walk.

Interesting road sign at the Racecourse

Brighton Racecourse

Topping Milton Keynes

Milton Keynes is place with lots of attractions, Xscape, the Bowl, the shopping centre and the iconic Concrete Cows. It also possesses a top, which turned out to be small but perfectly formed. It was actually a hill, topped with a trig point and the obligatory aerial and completely accessible to the public. The only thing it lacked was a view but as that would have been of Milton Keynes…….

I set off from Apsley Woods (free parking and no heights barrier!) courtesy of the Duke of Bedford. The top of Bow Brickhill (551ft) was about half a mile up a gentle incline through a plantation of conifers. The footpath back went past All Saints church, isolated from the village at the top of hill. Bow Brickhill village had some very pretty cottages on its very steep main street. The return trip to Archie was a bridleway through Woburn Golf Club, the scene of many professional tournaments. You need to keep your wits about you as balls could come at you from any direction. One ball did land very close to me and I had to resist an strong urge to pick it up and walk off with it.

There are lots of interesting place to visit in and around MK. Bletchley Park, home of the WW2 code breakers is just a few miles away. Stowe House is about ten miles away in Buckinghamshire and Silverstone Race track is just over the border in Northamptonshire.

Woburn Golf Club

Bow Brickhill

All Saints Church

East Sussex tops in pictures

East Sussex has five Marilyns including the county top, Ditchling Beacon, and the twin peaks of Brighton. I bagged 4 of the five Marilyns with Noddy on a glorious November day a few years ago and the Brighton tops last weekend.

Alternative Surrey 3 - Kingston-upon-Thames

Telegraph Hill (Kingston-upon-Thames) 295ft / 90m

I don’t know if any one else thinks it odd to find reservoirs on the top of hills but there seems to be a recurring theme here (Nottinghamshire, Harrow etc). Telegraph Hill is securely locked away by Thames Water with a very large fence guarding the covered reservoir and telecom masts, de rigeuer for any self-respecting top these days. Telegraph Hill also had a prison-like watch tower. Makes you wonder what they are hiding!

I knew from the hill bagging website that Telegraph Hill was pretty impregnable but it didn’t stop me from having a go. My plan was to assault in the rear by walking through Prince’s Covert, part of the Crown Estate. But first I had to apply for a permit to enter the estate, once the property of Prince Leopold, husband of Princess Charlotte, only daughter of the Prince Regent. Stumping up £5 (refundable) I received my key (no. 1732) and a handy map showing a 3½ mile guided route, I set off to Leatherhead and my campsite.

My pitch was under water after the recent snow but the hardstanding was firm underneath. After one of the coldest nights of the year, Archie was marooned on a little ice floe. I didn’t rush off, waiting for the promised sunshine. I let myself in with key wishing I brought some WD40 to make the lock close more easily. Then I then spent the afternoon with the place pretty much to myself as I saw less than ten people. It was very peaceful with just the odd jet plane disturbing the silence. It’s remarkable how you get away from the madding crowded in a densely populated place like Surrey. It wasn’t very picturesque as it was largely heath and plantation and would be easy to get lost in without following the signs or the map.

Needless to say I couldn’t get access to Telegraph Hill. I got within 500ft but between the reservoir fence and me was a trap shooting range and a barbed wire fence. All that just to protect some water!

Alternative Surrey 2 - Richmond & Merton

I left Archie behind for this walk which would take me from Wimbledon Station, over Wimbledon Common, through Richmond Park and finally along the River Thames to Richmond Station, about 9 miles in total.

Lauriston Place & Wimbledon Common, (Merton) 180ft / 55m

Lucky old Merton has twin peaks, the first was unobtainable in the back garden of the very large house with the Dutch gable end. The second one was an unmarked spot height in the middle of a scrubby bit of Wimbledon Common, known only to the Wombles. Very unsatisfactory topping, no views and not much of a hill. However I did spot this interesting road sign.

Richmond Park (Richmond) 184ft / 56m

Once I had despatched the Merton tops, I set off towards Richmond following the Capital Ring across Wimbledon Common. As the morning wore on the sun came out but it was pretty cold. Wimbledon Common was alive with activity; dog walkers, strollers, hikers, joggers and runners, cyclists, horse riders and golfers. Not a place for quiet contemplation.

After crossing the A3, I entered Richmond Park via Robin Hood Gate. Richmond Park is London's largest park and seemed even busier than Wimbledon. However away from the gate the crowds thinned out a bit. I spotted some deer posing in the sunshine below the wonderfully named Spankers Hill Wood. I followed the Capital Ring past White Lodge, home of the Royal Ballet School, over the lake and up the hill into the woods. The trig point which marks the highest point is just to the north of Pembroke Lodge (posh café) and just to the east of King Henry’s Mound. As the Mound is definitely higher than the trig point, I assume it doesn’t count as a top as it’s man made. It makes a more impressive top though, with its keyhole view back to St Pauls 10 miles away. St Pauls is framed by an avenue of trees and the view is protected by law. There was a equally impressive view to the west as Richmond Hill fell away to the river. It was too murky to spot Windsor Castle on the horizon, but there were plenty of other points of interest visible.

I wandered down the hill through Pembroke Lodge gardens, through Petersham meadows, along the Thames Path to Richmond Bridge. I collapsed into a seat on the train at Richmond nearly five hours after leaving Wimbledon Station and let the District Line carry me home.

Alternative Surrey 1 - Croydon & Sutton

Clock House (Sutton) 482ft / 147m

After ticking off Botley Hill in all its manifestations, I went on to camp at Alderstead Heath, intending to walk to the top of Sutton the next day. That day dawned sunny and bright, so I set off in good heart to walk the three and half miles to Clock House. What I hadn’t realised was just how hilly this part of Surrey is as there were two hills in between. The walk to Coulsdon followed the route of the London Loop over Farthing Downs, with some excellent view back towards London and Hampstead Heath on the horizon. However for much of the time it was possible to forget surburbia and just enjoy the beautiful open countryside. Farthing Downs would have made an excellent top for Croydon, were they about eighty feet higher.

It was uphill all the way from Coulsdon until reaching Prospect Plantation where the land levelled off. The actual top was the Clock House recreation ground and luckily the football pitch was deserted as I wandered around like a prospector trying to find the highest point. I was able to enjoy the sunshine and have a picnic in the kids playground, also deserted, before returning by the same route. The walk was ten miles long, took over five hours to complete and climbed over 1200ft. Bloody knackering!

Sanderstead Plantation (Croydon) 574ft / 175m

In contrast with the Sutton walk, the Croydon walk was all over in about twenty minutes. In parked in Church Way and walked to the top of Sanderstead Plantation. The path was steep but mercifully short. There were a few views towards London but otherwise it was all trees and scrub. It was very popular with locals and I think I spotted a fellow topper, a man armed with gps and maps.

I wonder if this is what happens if I put Archie on steroids!

Surrey - with the tower on top

Highest point in Southern England?

Top Facts

Surrey is quite a hilly place by southern standards, with the North Downs running across the whole of northern part of the county. At 965ft Leith Hill is not quite the highest part of southern England (that honour goes to Walbury Hill by 9ft) but it doesn’t stop the National Trust from advertising it at such. The hill is crowned by a 18th century Gothic tower which affords panoramic views as far as the English Channel. Apparently on a clear day you can see 13 counties. But on this particular day I could see only one.




I had to abandon the planned walk due to the dreaded height barrier (alive and well in Surrey) so Noddy and I walked from the Windy Gap car park up the staircase to the tower. This was a climb of over 200ft in a quarter of mile and left one of us rather breathless. The gatekeepers kindly kept an eye on Noddy while I climbed up the tower, but despite being a warm dry day (a bit of rarity in 2007), it was far too hazy to see more than a few miles.

Surrey has lots of very big, very posh houses some of which you can visit, like Polesdon Lacy near Leatherhead. Only the gardens were open in winter as the house became the latest location for Midsomers Murders. I didn’t see any of the cast at work but I nearly reversed over Tom Barnaby’s wife as I was extricating myself from the car park. There were some excellent views back towards London. National Trust members are spoilt for choice in Surrey with a fine selection of houses, gardens and open spaces to choose from.

Box Hill is probably the most well known open in Surrey, popular with walkers, cyclists and motor cyclists. As it wasn't a Marilyn, I didn't feel obliged to walk up it but made Archie do all the hard work. It has some of the best hairpin bends in the south of England. Despite being a bit of honey-pot, it covers such a large area that it's quite easy to get away from it all. Just watch out for the mountain bikers swooping past. On a clear day, you get great views of the South Downs from the viewpoint. I opted for the waymarked short route through the woods, then a steep climb down some steps into a valley and then a long plod up the valley back to the car park. For those of you who like a challenge, the walk up the steep side is about half a mile and climbs nearly 500ft. It is a very impressive hill, well worth a visit.

Surrey tops in pictures

There are two Marilyns in Surrey. Leith Hill, the County top, is often billed as the highest point in Southern England (it isn’t.) Botley Hill is a large plateau with very steep sides on the borders of Greater London. Five London boroughs were created from northern Surrey; Croydon, Kingston, Merton, Richmond and Sutton. I bagged the county top with Noddy in 2007 and the remaining tops on three trips in early 2009.

Alternative Kent Tops - Part Two

The London Boroughs

Westerham Heights (Bromley and Greater London) 804ft

In 1965 , the boroughs of Bexley and Bromley were formed out of the northern part of Kent. Bromley is the largest London Borough in area and is surprising rural and rather hilly. Westerham Heights became the highest point in Greater London after a boundary change in 1993 and thus is actually a county top. (Greater London is a ceremonial county with a Lord Lieutenant etc..). I set off before dawn and timed my journey to arrive at the top of the hill in time for sunrise and I missed it by about a minute. The top was an unmarked spot in a field. This is one county top you could do by bus as the 246 to Westerham goes right by.

I drove on to High Elms Country Park (free car park and no height barrier- thank you Bromley) for breakfast before having a brisk morning walk through the woods and gardens. This part of Bromley is very rural and I drove down some very narrow lanes past Downe House, the home of Charles Darwin which has recently been restored by English Heritage.


Langdon Shaw, Sidcup (Bexley) 272ft

It was a fairly short drive from Orpington to Sidcup, for the very unremarkable top of Bexley. According to my GPS the top is the garden near the white van. I did a circuit of Langdon Shaw and there was actually quite a good view south towards Shooters Hill, but there's much else you can really say about this one. (It can be a very silly hobby at times).


Last stop before returning home for lunch, was Hall Place, which was closed for refurbishment. I wandered around the gardens for a bit, but sadly the A2 runs alongside so it was a bit noisy.

Alternative Kent Tops - Medway

Holly Hill, 558ft

Medway is that little bit of Kent at the mouth of the river Medway, including the historic towns of Chatham and Rochester. The highest point is Holly Hill, on the North Downs. It's an unmarked spot in a field and isn't even at the top of the hill, which is across the border in Kent.


As Holly Hill is about 30 miles from home, I decided to go topping on a Sunday morning and be home in time for lunch. It should have been a short jaunt from the car park but guess what! another height barrier! So it was going to be a much longer jaunt through the woods from a layby. I set off well before dawn to get through the Dartford tunnel before 6am to avoid the tolls. However that meant I had to spend a hour in total darkness in a layby miles from anywhere. I spent most of the time thinking how to explain what I was doing if apprehended by the forces of law and order as I had in my possession, 3 maps, 2 GPS receivers, mobile phone, camera and binoculars, the complete stalking kit. It was actually quite pleasant setting off in the murky dawn, listening to the dawn chorus, plodding uphill through the woods. Armed with my new GPS I wandered around a large field attempting to find the highest point. Luckily this trespass was obscured from anyone by the misty weather.


I spent some time afterwards having a look around Rochester, which has a castle, cathedral and a strong association with Dickens.

Kent - worst top yet

Gloom in the garden of England

Top Facts

All my topping trips to Kent have taken place in the winter, hence the gloomy photos. Kent has one of the worst tops possible with the actual location in the back of someone's garden and no views at all. This was as close as I could get without committing trespass.
Betsom's Hill is on the North Downs across the road from Westerham Heights, (the highest point in Greater London). I wandered up there along the North Downs way with some impressive views (which sadly included the M25.) Next time you stop at Clacketts Lane Services, lift up your eyes to the hills and you'll be looking at the highest point of Kent and Bromley.

Kent tops in pictures

If ever you needed proof that topping is a very silly hobby, look no further than Kent. One traditional top, two marilyns and three unitary authority tops and not a decent view (or very good photo) to show for it.

Middlesex - ghost county

Worst top so far...

Top Facts

Middlesex disappeared off the map in 1965 when it was divvied up to form all or part of eight London boroughs. Gone but not forgotten through the work of its loyal supporters like Russell Grant, county signs still abound.

The actual top of Middlesex (502ft) was a bit hard to locate. It should be by a covered reservoir but its likely location has disappeared under a new gated development where I doubt that county toppers would be welcomed. So I made do with the boundary sign.


This trip was not a good topping experience. I had hoped to combine the top with a walk in nearby Stanmore common but gave up due to height barriers! I also tried to park at nearby Bentley Priory to no avail. So I restricted myself to parking the van about 750ft away and walking up the road and taking a picture, watched by some bemused people at the bus stop.

Noddy wasn’t feeling too well that day as he was suffering from canine vestibular syndrome (it’s a bit like vertigo). We did go for a walk at nearby Aldenham Country Park, however he was moving so slowly we were overtaken by just about everyone including a woman who was about to give birth! As you can see from the photo he couldn’t be bothered to get out of the van.

I am not familiar with any of the 9 alternative tops in Middlesex spawned by the creation of the GLC, but one, Horsenden Hill (279ft), in Ealing does feature in several walking books and does appear to have a summit and views, requisites for a good topping experience.

So it was with a feeling of general disgruntlement I headed home. I won’t be going back there until 2015 when leg 15 of the London loop passes through the area, and it won’t be too soon.

Click here for details of Bentley Priory circular walk.
Click here for details of Horsenden Hill circular walk.